Volt12121
He/Him- 1,468
- 591
This purely for the original's original story key
Tier
ok so we currently have Jeff has Athlete level, likely Street level but i believe he should straight up be Street level, here's some feat that should give him that rating
Jeff could break Randy's wrist (Jeff popped the kid in the nose. As Randy reached for his face, Jeff grabbed the kid's wrist and broke it. Randy screamed and Jeff grabbed the knife from his hand.) which is Street level
Jeff could punch Randy so hard that his heart stopped (He grabs Randy and pile drives him to the ground. He gets on top of him and punches him straight in the heart. The punch causes Randy's heart to stop. As Randy gasps for breath.)
there's some supporting feat like
Jeff punched Troy so hard the latter threw up (Troy rushed him too, but Jeff didn't even need the knife. He just punched Troy straight in the stomach and Troy went down. As he fell, he puked all over.)
Jeff ripping a towel rack from the wall (He grabs the towel rack and rips it off the wall. Troy and Keith race in, knives ready. )
Jeff jumped from a window (I heard a smash, like glass breaking. As I came out of my room, I saw the window that was pointing towards the back of my house was broken. I looked out it to see him vanish into the distance.)
etc
so yeah Street level seems consistent enough to get rid of the Athlete level.
Hax
Rage power should be moved to first key as he shows it here and this could also be Bloodlust with how it is worded (Once again he gets that strange feeling, the one in which he hasn't felt for a while. "Finally. He's up!" says Randy as he runs at Jeff. That's when it happens. Something inside Jeff snaps. His psyche is destroyed, all rational thinking is gone, all he can do, is kill.)
Despite what his weaknesses say, Jeff should probably get Stealth Mastery seen as despite committing multiple murder, Jeff is still considered an unknown killer and the police has very little evidence (After weeks of unexplained murders, the ominous unknown killer is still on the rise. After little evidence has been found, a young boy states that he survived one of the killer's attacks and bravely tells his story. )
Weapon Mastery should be moved too since he could also throw his knife with accuracy as seen here (That's when my dad busted in. The man threw the knife, it went into my dad's shoulder.)
Jeff should probably get Limited Fire Manipulation sense he has access to a lighter ("I couldn't see my face. I got tired and my eyes started to close. I burned out the eyelids so I could forever see myself; my new face.")
Stamina
Jeff should also get High in his first key sense he could shrug off beating beaten so bad he started coughing up blood alongside getting a bottle of vodka smash on his head ("Need some help?" He picks Jeff up by the back of the collar and throws him through the patio door. As Jeff tries to stand he is kicked down to the ground. Randy repeatedly starts kicking Jeff, until he starts to cough up blood. "Come on Jeff, fight me!" He picks Jeff up and throws him into the kitchen. Randy sees a bottle of vodka on the counter and smashes the glass over Jeff's head.)
Weaknesses
Ok, so Jeff's Weaknesses make no sense, using a knife isn't a weakness and wearing a bright hoodie doesn't seems like one either when he is quite literally a serial killer that is for the most part unknown. His weakness should just be his mental instability
and i think that's that, i had to read the story for that and it was as bad as i remembered
Tier
ok so we currently have Jeff has Athlete level, likely Street level but i believe he should straight up be Street level, here's some feat that should give him that rating
Jeff could break Randy's wrist (Jeff popped the kid in the nose. As Randy reached for his face, Jeff grabbed the kid's wrist and broke it. Randy screamed and Jeff grabbed the knife from his hand.) which is Street level
Jeff could punch Randy so hard that his heart stopped (He grabs Randy and pile drives him to the ground. He gets on top of him and punches him straight in the heart. The punch causes Randy's heart to stop. As Randy gasps for breath.)
there's some supporting feat like
Jeff punched Troy so hard the latter threw up (Troy rushed him too, but Jeff didn't even need the knife. He just punched Troy straight in the stomach and Troy went down. As he fell, he puked all over.)
Jeff ripping a towel rack from the wall (He grabs the towel rack and rips it off the wall. Troy and Keith race in, knives ready. )
Jeff jumped from a window (I heard a smash, like glass breaking. As I came out of my room, I saw the window that was pointing towards the back of my house was broken. I looked out it to see him vanish into the distance.)
etc
so yeah Street level seems consistent enough to get rid of the Athlete level.
Hax
Rage power should be moved to first key as he shows it here and this could also be Bloodlust with how it is worded (Once again he gets that strange feeling, the one in which he hasn't felt for a while. "Finally. He's up!" says Randy as he runs at Jeff. That's when it happens. Something inside Jeff snaps. His psyche is destroyed, all rational thinking is gone, all he can do, is kill.)
Despite what his weaknesses say, Jeff should probably get Stealth Mastery seen as despite committing multiple murder, Jeff is still considered an unknown killer and the police has very little evidence (After weeks of unexplained murders, the ominous unknown killer is still on the rise. After little evidence has been found, a young boy states that he survived one of the killer's attacks and bravely tells his story. )
Weapon Mastery should be moved too since he could also throw his knife with accuracy as seen here (That's when my dad busted in. The man threw the knife, it went into my dad's shoulder.)
Jeff should probably get Limited Fire Manipulation sense he has access to a lighter ("I couldn't see my face. I got tired and my eyes started to close. I burned out the eyelids so I could forever see myself; my new face.")
Stamina
Jeff should also get High in his first key sense he could shrug off beating beaten so bad he started coughing up blood alongside getting a bottle of vodka smash on his head ("Need some help?" He picks Jeff up by the back of the collar and throws him through the patio door. As Jeff tries to stand he is kicked down to the ground. Randy repeatedly starts kicking Jeff, until he starts to cough up blood. "Come on Jeff, fight me!" He picks Jeff up and throws him into the kitchen. Randy sees a bottle of vodka on the counter and smashes the glass over Jeff's head.)
Weaknesses
Ok, so Jeff's Weaknesses make no sense, using a knife isn't a weakness and wearing a bright hoodie doesn't seems like one either when he is quite literally a serial killer that is for the most part unknown. His weakness should just be his mental instability
and i think that's that, i had to read the story for that and it was as bad as i remembered
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