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Hello. Some of you may know/remember me still, despite my long absences. I intend to return to the wiki.
First and foremost, I'd like to explain my absence and where I have been, and also apologize. I've returned after a long period of absence while I was working on my graduation paper, amidst some bad life experiences that have led to the increasing of some already existing illnesses I have - in particular, I have some serious avoidance-related problems thanks to anxiety and stress. Those affairs have made it very difficult to work on the wiki, but most damningly, they have made me have an unreasonable sense of guilt and shame over several different projects, having felt as if I failed everyone in both my particular and virtual lives, and most of all, that I have failed myself.
These issues manifested unto several different aspects of my life, which included this community, and many times I found myself wanting to return and to at least tell someone that I was mostly okay-ish, but that misguided shame made me avoid trying to do so. I wouldn't say I am over these issues, they are very deeply rooted, but I am more conscious of them than I have been in a long time and I am trying to actively work against them.
For having left you guys, a community that has made such a profound impact on me and has provided a place for me to debate fiction, a hobby that I very much enjoy, I am sorry.
As for my personal life, I am mostly okay. Mental health issues aside, which were a consequence of a lot of irrelevant, small things that accumulated over the years, I am finishing my graduation and I am currently in a very curious position - I am deciding whether to join the workforce, seek another graduation or pursue a Masters' degree. In any case, everything's going as smoothly as it can go, given the circumstances.
I am developing a RPG system greatly inspired by Fear & Hunger, Vermis, Arcanum and general mythology and folklore, and also very slowly working on the foundation for a personal battleboarding wiki, laying down the basic structures, rules and concepts for its development. It is still very far from being done, but I'm proud of where it stands right now. I have also made significant progress in my studies of history, literature and some other fields which may have some incidental influence on my future works here.
As for VBW, I'd like to thank the community as a whole for being here and, while having its share of problems and certain aspects that are unfortunately linked to any battleboarding forum, still being one of the virtual spaces that have influenced me the most from my childhood and provided a space where I could find people interested in fiction, in its study and in the hobby of battleboarding, and for providing me company and entertainment when those were almost impossible otherwise. I am proud to have worked as staff here, I am proud of the pages I have created and, most of all, I am proud of how far this community has come.
While I may still take some leaves of absence at times, I do expect to keep more contact with you guys and be more present, overall.
First and foremost, I'd like to explain my absence and where I have been, and also apologize. I've returned after a long period of absence while I was working on my graduation paper, amidst some bad life experiences that have led to the increasing of some already existing illnesses I have - in particular, I have some serious avoidance-related problems thanks to anxiety and stress. Those affairs have made it very difficult to work on the wiki, but most damningly, they have made me have an unreasonable sense of guilt and shame over several different projects, having felt as if I failed everyone in both my particular and virtual lives, and most of all, that I have failed myself.
These issues manifested unto several different aspects of my life, which included this community, and many times I found myself wanting to return and to at least tell someone that I was mostly okay-ish, but that misguided shame made me avoid trying to do so. I wouldn't say I am over these issues, they are very deeply rooted, but I am more conscious of them than I have been in a long time and I am trying to actively work against them.
For having left you guys, a community that has made such a profound impact on me and has provided a place for me to debate fiction, a hobby that I very much enjoy, I am sorry.
As for my personal life, I am mostly okay. Mental health issues aside, which were a consequence of a lot of irrelevant, small things that accumulated over the years, I am finishing my graduation and I am currently in a very curious position - I am deciding whether to join the workforce, seek another graduation or pursue a Masters' degree. In any case, everything's going as smoothly as it can go, given the circumstances.
I am developing a RPG system greatly inspired by Fear & Hunger, Vermis, Arcanum and general mythology and folklore, and also very slowly working on the foundation for a personal battleboarding wiki, laying down the basic structures, rules and concepts for its development. It is still very far from being done, but I'm proud of where it stands right now. I have also made significant progress in my studies of history, literature and some other fields which may have some incidental influence on my future works here.
As for VBW, I'd like to thank the community as a whole for being here and, while having its share of problems and certain aspects that are unfortunately linked to any battleboarding forum, still being one of the virtual spaces that have influenced me the most from my childhood and provided a space where I could find people interested in fiction, in its study and in the hobby of battleboarding, and for providing me company and entertainment when those were almost impossible otherwise. I am proud to have worked as staff here, I am proud of the pages I have created and, most of all, I am proud of how far this community has come.
While I may still take some leaves of absence at times, I do expect to keep more contact with you guys and be more present, overall.
