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How do I quantify this?

ArbitraryNumbers

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So there's this webcomic known as Moonbeard. It includes a lot of dark, dry, and self-deprecating humor.

In this comic, we see rain killing a guy by piercing his body like bullets. I would like to make a profile for this, but I'm not sure how to quantify it completely.

2014-02-28-Looks-Like-Murder
Yes, I know it would obviously be 9-C, and the speed would likely be Athletic Human as rain typically falls at 8.9 m/s. But how to I quantify everything else?

Would abilities be Danmaku, Water Manipulation, etc.?

I'm not sure, but I'd really like to make a profile for this. The issue here is that I don't know how to quantify it completely.

For those who are curious, this comic also contains an office worker who melts out of existence upon getting fired, a sentient necktie that strangles people and a letter containing infinite parallel universes.
 
The rain.

I was thinking the rain would be 9-C and Athletic Human in speed. But I don't know how to quantify the other stats.
 
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