Animals with knives: Battle royale

[ArbitraryNumbers]

Conditions:

• All of the animals are bloodlusted and fully willing to kill
• The knives do not weigh the combatants down at all
• Fight takes place in Central Park in the afternoon
• Humans are in the background, observing the fight from several meters away

Also, just for the sake of making this an actual discussion where all combatants are fully acknowledged and given credit where it's due, you have to list the animals in order of how you think they'll win, and list your reasons why.



Who wins 1st place?

Crab
9

Turtle
4

Mouse
1

Crow
3


The poll was created at 00:55 on February 24, 2017, and so far 17 people voted.
Please wait, submitting your vote...

 

[Saikou_The_Lewd_King]

4. Turtle. Too slow to do much, and one strike to the head and it's over.

3. Mouse: Cute, but manipulating a knife with your whole body is far harder.

2. Crow: It has an easier time using the knife, and has flight advantage.

1. Crab: Vicious bastard has a knife now.

 

[WeeklyBattles]

But the turtle's head id semi-protected by the knife over it, so only a horizontal strike or an extremely well placed vertical strike will be a threat, and no one is getting through its shell

Plus look at that crow, it doesnt even know how to hold a knife how do you expect it to know how to wield it?

Though i agree the Crab would lilely win in the end by virtue of being the only one of the four who can actually properly wield the knife.

 

[ArbitraryNumbers]

I've edited the post to include a poll.

 

[The_real_cal_howard]

Turtle's got that shell as a shield. Though, crab might have that advantage too...

 

[Amelia_Lonelyheart]

I think the Crab has the best land game, but I have a feeling the Crows flight with the ability to drop the knife from above is pretty useful. I think the Crow could easily dispatch with the Mouse and Crab, but Crow vs Turtle might stalemate each other since the Turtle is well, a turtle. However, the Turtle is to slow to really do anything so I think the Crow has this.

 

[Saikou_The_Lewd_King]

I mean the turtle can't do any damage with its speed unless the animal literally runs into it.

 

[SomebodyData]

Turtle too fast he wins

 

[The_real_cal_howard]

Turtle's not that slow. Y'all's thinkin bout the tortoise.

 

[Davidsteel1]

This is literally the single greatest thread I've ever seen, kudos to the OP. Giving this to the crab cuz it is probably the only one that can use the knife, then the crow due to flight advantage, next comes the turtle due to having the highest defence and the mouse in last place by default

 

[ArbitraryNumbers]

On average turtles can "run" at 3 to 4 mph.

The mouse can run at 8 mph.

 

[Czuczian11]

Crow may blind em with talons/ (well except the crab as it may be too dangerous for it) but esentialy if it dropped the knife and then just tried to cut them (dont try to make fool out of all of us-crow definitelly is better wthout knife than with it) with beak and talons. Question is is damage to eyes is enough to put turtle/crab down as i doubt crow can do anything to them. Turtle may just stand still and outlast all of them (either the defense and the lifespan wise) if the eyes do not infect. Technically any of them (Except mouse) may make a victory

 

[DerpCity]

Turtle wins, he's large planet level.
Crab comes in first by having the ability to hold it with a hand-like appendage, allowing it to use the techniques passed down its family line for generations. The Turtle's at a disadvantage due to being slower than the other competitors, but as we all know, Turtles are Transformers, so it'll be able to put up a fight. The other two fall over trying to figure out what the hell they're doing.

 

[Czuczian11]

In that case crow wins as it may mind control all opponents and force them to flee out of battle/kill themeselves/urrender/whatever.

 

[ArbitraryNumbers]

Remember to vote for your 1st place in the poll I placed in the OP.

Anyways, I'll count here:

Crab: 4

Turtle: 0

Mouse: 0

Crow: 1

 

[ArbitraryNumbers]

@Czuc, who are you voting for?

 

[Czuczian11]

I'd stick to the crow i think

 

[Omegagoldfish]

Crabs are vicious engines of aquatic death with thick shells, razor sharp instincts and no fear whatsoever. They are unflagging amalgamtions of flesh, bone and hate.

 

[ArbitraryNumbers]

Crab: 5

Turtle: 0

Mouse: 0

Crow: 2

 

[ArbitraryNumbers]

I also feel like the turtle's not getting enough credit here.

The turtle is definitely slow, but turtles on average can run 3-4 mph. Certainly nothing impressive, but it's not like it's "so slow it cannot defend itself for the life of it".