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50 MPH Man races an Umamusume

YuseiDragon1

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vsbattles.fandom.com

50 MPH Man

The 50 MPH Man was a character originating from Cyanide and Happiness. One day when waiting for the bus he discovers that he has super speed and decides to use his power to make a name for himself.[1] Tier: 10-A, 9-C with a gun and 9-B with full speed tackle. Name: Unknown, 50 MPH Man. Origin...
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Tokai Teio

Tokai Teio (トウカイテイオー, Toukai Teioo) is a character in Umamusume: Pretty Derby. A bright, bubbly Umamusume with a natural knack for racing. She's long looked up to the student council president, Symboli Rudolf, and this admiration serves as her ultimate motivation in becoming the number one...
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50 mph - around 80 kmh
Tokai Teio's 2500 meter dash was 36.312932 mph
Uma musume range from 50 kmh to 70, being able to reach 100 kmh in short bursts and using skills.

So who takes it in a Turf, medium distance race?
Distance Range: Primarily 1,400m to 2,000m (approx. 7–10 furlongs), though often defined up to 12.99 furlongs.
 
Poketmonsrs said:
I’d give it to Teio for her SI and stat amp and reduction
Click to expand...
Teio 1
50MPH Man 0

I wonder if it will be needed to make some math calcs on the race to see if Teio's burst speed and stat manip will be enough to stop 50mphm's constant superior speed.
 

Step 1: Convert to comparable race times (no skill shenanigans)​


Convert speeds


  • 50 mph = 80.47 km/h = 22.352 m/s
  • Teio “2500 m in 2:34” average = 16.234 m/s = 58.44 km/h = 36.31 mph
  • Teio “theorized top speed” ≈ 70 km/h = 19.444 m/s (still below 50 mph)

Finish times (flat track, constant speed)


  • 1,400 m
    • 50 MPH Man @ 50 mph: 62.63 s
    • Teio @ 36.31 mph avg: 86.24 s (loses by 23.61 s)
    • Teio @ 70 km/h: 72.00 s (loses by 9.37 s)
  • 2,000 m
    • 50 MPH Man @ 50 mph: 89.48 s
    • Teio @ 36.31 mph avg: 123.20 s (loses by 33.72 s)
    • Teio @ 70 km/h: 102.86 s (loses by 13.38 s)

Result (speed-only): 50 MPH Man wins essentially every time.

Step 2: “But Teio can burst to ~100 km/h” — how long must that last?​


You said Umamusume can hit 100 km/h in short bursts. Let’s be generous and assume Teio can:


  • cruise at 70 km/h, and
  • burst at 100 km/h (27.78 m/s)

To tie the 50 mph man’s time, Teio needs total 100 km/h burst time of at least:


  • 1,400 m: 21.85 seconds of 100 km/h burst
  • 2,000 m: 31.22 seconds of 100 km/h burst

Equivalently, that’s about:


  • ~607 m at 100 km/h in a 1,400 m race
  • ~867 m at 100 km/h in a 2,000 m race

That’s not a “tiny last-spurt pop”—it’s a massive chunk of the race.

Bottom line​


  • Using the explicit quantified speeds (50 mph constant vs Teio’s ~36 mph 2500m pace / ~70 km/h theorized top): 50 MPH Man is a landslide favorite (effectively ~100% win rate).
  • Teio only starts having a real chance if she can maintain ~100 km/h for ~22–31 seconds total (or otherwise raise her average speed above 50 mph for the whole race). That’s far beyond what most people mean by “short bursts.”
 
YuseiDragon1 said:

Step 1: Convert to comparable race times (no skill shenanigans)​


Convert speeds


  • 50 mph = 80.47 km/h = 22.352 m/s
  • Teio “2500 m in 2:34” average = 16.234 m/s = 58.44 km/h = 36.31 mph
  • Teio “theorized top speed” ≈ 70 km/h = 19.444 m/s (still below 50 mph)

Finish times (flat track, constant speed)


  • 1,400 m
    • 50 MPH Man @ 50 mph: 62.63 s
    • Teio @ 36.31 mph avg: 86.24 s (loses by 23.61 s)
    • Teio @ 70 km/h: 72.00 s (loses by 9.37 s)
  • 2,000 m
    • 50 MPH Man @ 50 mph: 89.48 s
    • Teio @ 36.31 mph avg: 123.20 s (loses by 33.72 s)
    • Teio @ 70 km/h: 102.86 s (loses by 13.38 s)

Result (speed-only): 50 MPH Man wins essentially every time.

Step 2: “But Teio can burst to ~100 km/h” — how long must that last?​


You said Umamusume can hit 100 km/h in short bursts. Let’s be generous and assume Teio can:


  • cruise at 70 km/h, and
  • burst at 100 km/h (27.78 m/s)

To tie the 50 mph man’s time, Teio needs total 100 km/h burst time of at least:


  • 1,400 m: 21.85 seconds of 100 km/h burst
  • 2,000 m: 31.22 seconds of 100 km/h burst

Equivalently, that’s about:


  • ~607 m at 100 km/h in a 1,400 m race
  • ~867 m at 100 km/h in a 2,000 m race

That’s not a “tiny last-spurt pop”—it’s a massive chunk of the race.

Bottom line​


  • Using the explicit quantified speeds (50 mph constant vs Teio’s ~36 mph 2500m pace / ~70 km/h theorized top): 50 MPH Man is a landslide favorite (effectively ~100% win rate).
  • Teio only starts having a real chance if she can maintain ~100 km/h for ~22–31 seconds total (or otherwise raise her average speed above 50 mph for the whole race). That’s far beyond what most people mean by “short bursts.”
Click to expand...
Is that ChatGPT?
 
Yeah, just wondered what it would say, and it seems gpt thinks its pretty likely 50mph man wins this race.
 
Tokai Teio's movement speed: >70 km/h to at most 101.98 km/h, higher with skills, up to 133.92 km/h in short burst

Her normal running speed already far surpasses 50 MPH.
 
Greatsage13th said:
Tokai Teio's movement speed: >70 km/h to at most 101.98 km/h, higher with skills, up to 133.92 km/h in short burst

Her normal running speed already far surpasses 50 MPH.
Click to expand...
Miles =/= Kilometers
50 mph is around 80 kmh

The thing is that she needs to keep those burst speeds for most of the race to keep up with the constant 80 kmh 50mph man has before its too late.
 
YuseiDragon1 said:
The thing is that she needs to keep those burst speeds for most of the race to keep up with the constant 80 kmh 50mph man has before its too late.
Click to expand...
Her short-burst speed shouldn’t even be included in a race like this. At most it would reach ~102 kmph, considering her base top running speed is 70, it isn’t that hard to keep up with him. Depending on her skills, she can also increase her acceleration and speed, reduce fatigue, and use her own unique skills that boost her velocity even further.

also using gpt for debating and such is cringe

Teio FRA
 
Jerry59 said:
Her short-burst speed shouldn’t even be included in a race like this. At most it would reach ~102 kmph, considering her base top running speed is 70, it isn’t that hard to keep up with him. Depending on her skills, she can also increase her acceleration and speed, reduce fatigue, and use her own unique skills that boost her velocity even further.

also using gpt for debating and such is cringe

Teio FRA
Click to expand...
???
Miles are not Kilometers
 
YuseiDragon1 said:
???
Miles are not Kilometers
Click to expand...
?
When did I mention anything about miles or kilometers? I know the difference, and I know how fast 50 mph is in km/h. And Teio’s speed ranges between 70 and nearly 102 km/h, just use common sense.

(Also forgot to mention that there are debuff skills, though idk if there’s an optimal build for her that focuses on them. But if we’re disregarding that for the sake of a vs matchup, then there you go- she can also drain his stamina, slow him down, among other things. And like an Olympic running track is only 400 meters, so his stamina feat of finishing that distance would still be worse than Teio’s, or at best comparable considering he doesn’t seem to tire ig)
 
Last edited:
Jerry59 said:
Her short-burst speed shouldn’t even be included in a race like this. At most it would reach ~102 kmph, considering her base top running speed is 70, it isn’t that hard to keep up with him. Depending on her skills, she can also increase her acceleration and speed, reduce fatigue, and use her own unique skills that boost her velocity even further.

also using gpt for debating and such is cringe

Teio FRA
Click to expand...
Agreed.
 
Saying Teio is always at 70 when that is the top theorized speed given by Tachyon is not accurate. If it was her casual speed, then then her 2500m dash, even when tired, would be considered a non impressive feat worth noting in the profile or even an anti feat if all umas casually reach 70kmh (below 50mph man's 80, btw)


The maze feat shows only keeping that top speed for 1 second, which is not good when Teio would need to keep this thru most of the race.
 
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